Conversations

She got mad at me for not listening this morning.  She grabbed my face and spoke in that spooky quiet voice that means “I’m very angry and trying hard to control myself right now.”  She got mad and I didn’t even realize that there was a problem.  It wasn’t that I wasn’t listening to her yell “Come, Gracie, Come right now!” it was just that it was background noise.  I couldn’t really hear her over the siren call of the French fries lying in the grass combined with the thrill of approaching dogs to go greet.  So I wasn’t trying to be bad or ignore her.  Her message just didn’t get through. 

That’s the thing with this whole talking bit.  I have to be a) paying attention, b) know what the words mean, and c) able to understand her, and d) willing to engage in the conversation.  That’s a lot of requirements to be fulfilled all of the time.  She just assumes that her voice is the only one I’m paying attention to.  What she doesn’t realize is that there’s the lull of the wind, the noise of traffic, the swish of other dog tails wagging, and the screams of cat food lying in the grass all competing for my attention.  I know that she carries treats for me, but frankly, given the choice between carrot slices and French fries…I mean come on, I’m not an idiot!

It’s it the same with you humans? Don’t you have lots of voices swirling around those big heads of yours? Don’t you have nagging thoughts of to-do lists, ponderings about events earlier in the day, anxieties about things to come mixed with the chatter of your friends? Isn’t it sometimes hard to focus on what the person in front of you is saying? No one is getting your hearing checked or assuming you’re misbehaving when you zone out.  Or is it only me that happens to?

Wait…what was I saying?

Sorry, I got lost in the scent of my stuffed toy for a second and distracted by the bird outside…were we having a conversation?

New Years Resolutions...maybe

For 2012, I, Gracie Joy, resolve to:

1. Come when called except when i find something really good to sniff or eat, in which case I'll come when I'm good and ready...ie when the food has all been eaten
2. Cover you with puppy licks for as long as you'll leave uncovered skin in my presence
3. Be exuberantly overjoyed every time you walk in the door even if you've only been gone long enough to switch the laundry
4. Not hold a grudge even when you pry discovered chicken bones out of my mouth
5. Allow you to zip me up in frilly pink coats but only for the warmth factor and not because I care about appearances or anything...although I must admit I look pretty cute in my pink puffy jacket
6. Eat every morsel of food in my bowl and then make continual checks every three minutes from then on out just in case you've added more food
7. Adore you even when you're crabby
8. Play fetch for as long as you want as long as you've got something tasty for me when I return the ball
9. Stop and sniff every blade of grade and each petal of every flower to appreciate the beauty of nature...and pee
10. Remind you by example to stop doing and just lie down and cuddle with me
11. Listen to you and do what you ask...again, just not in the face of food...in that case i may have a case of selective hearing loss
12. Love you unconditionally no matter what you look like, what kind of mood you're in, or how successful you are.  

Then again, these resolutions aren't really a stretch for me...it's kind of just me being a dog. 

 Hummm wonder if they still count.  Perhaps a better title would be "What a dog does naturally"!

Big trouble

I was in trouble yesterday.  BIG trouble.  The kind where I know my mom wants to shake me silly but instead gives me a time out and glares at me.  Well I can glare right back Missy, and you just foiled me attempt that snatching that ice cream sandwich.  It seems that when she yells, “Come”, we have a communication breakdown.  

I heard my name, glanced over at her, acknowledging her existence, and then went about my merry way.  I vaguely remember some background dim of “Come” but I was busy.  When I’m busy, I turn my cell phone off! Status update: Not available…hunting for food. Straight to voice mail!

Hence I didn’t get the memo detailing the definitions of “Come”, namely "Come right now, do not pass go, do not collect $200." 

Ok, that makes sense…but we were talking about an ice cream sandwich.  Where’s the compromise? Where’s the love? I propose “Just a sec” as an alternate command.  Yes, I hear you, and I fully intend on returning to you just as soon as I’ve wolfed down this morsel of food I’ve managed to find.  No? Not so much? Hum…we’re at a standstill.

Needless to say, yesterday I didn’t even come in a sec because once I know I’m in trouble, what’s the rush? Not my wisest move.  There were harsh words and forced sits and long time-outs.  But as soon as we’re done, I’m over it and she feels horrible, whispering apologies and giving me tiny treats and lots of hugs.  Thinking she might not be quite ready for one of those small humans I see around. 

The part that’s different between us is that I’ve already forgotten the incident and am moving towards my next target.  She’s still stuck in the past, beating herself up for getting mad.  And I’m the one that did something wrong! Does anyone else see a problem here?

Like I said, it’s a communication thing, which I notice being a problem for a lot of you humans.  Someone hears a comment with a slant that was unintended, or gets their feelings hurt over a perceived slight that the other party neither meant nor has any clue that something’s wrong.  Then the resentment starts and the eggshell walking begins and no good comes from that.  At that point we all just need to lie down before we hurt ourselves!

 I just need her to spell it out for me.  I’m not a mind reader, so her “Right now!!” probably means something other than how I take it – “Mosey on over here at your leisure.”

Holy days

I keep hearing all of this chatter about the holy days…groans of how they’re almost here, how hard they are, and mutters of family time accompanied by shudders.  What is it about these holy days that gets everyone in a tizzy? Does it depend on what religion you are? Because in our house, there’s no muttering or groaning, but there’s also no decorations or party invitations covering the fridge.  There’s no extra obligations or family events, no long lists of gifts to buy or requisite cards to send out.  

So maybe we’re missing something, but it seems like the country is taking a collective whining session and I’m not clear what the problem is. 

They are holy days…and by definition they should be exempt from complaining and stress.  Perhaps that’s the problem. There’s so much pressure to have an amazing time that it ends up backfiring.  Kind of like my birthday when it’s my one extra-special day all about me (as if that’s so different from my daily life – yeah right!) and I’m supposed to have a fabulous, perfect, wonderful day.  Well that’s a lot of pressure and usually it’s just a normal day with some gifts and cards thrown in and maybe an extra trip to the park.  

It’s all about expectations.  When I don’t know it’s my birthday, lacking my own iphone or calendar, my birthday is great because I don’t even know when it is! But once it’s all built up and the specialness factor is in play, then expectations soar and we’re in trouble. 

I think it’s the same with the holy days.  Maybe if no one knew it was December, and the 25^th, new years, and those roving Hanukkah days rolled around without anyone’s knowledge, they would just be sweetly ordinary and everyone would relax.  Maybe if there weren’t expectations about the ideal family sitting down to the perfectly cooked meal and everyone being blissfully happy, the stress factor would plummet.  Maybe if new years were a time to self-reflect and cuddle with loved ones minus the flashy parties and fancy gowns, everyone would be happier.  I don’t know – I’m just a dog so consider the source.  But somewhere during the season of holidays, the holy seems to have gotten misplaced. 

 

Don’t worry – I’m on the job.  As long as its been rolled in some nutmeg or latkes, I’ll sniff out the holy. 

Hineni

It seems like a silly question to me.  Maybe I’m missing something.  Asking yourself “Where are you”?? Hello…sitting right here waiting for you to feed me, drop food, give me treats, or pet me.  What do you mean “where are you”? How do you lose yourself? I’ve mastered this one.  I’m never lost, despite what my mom might say about me wandering out of eye sight.  I’ve got it.  Here I am, living right in the present moment, fully focused on the smell right in front of my nose.  How could I lose myself? I don’t get it. 

But apparently this is a problem for some of you humans.  My mom has been asking herself “where are you?” throughout the day as a way to get centered and remember to breathe. (Ok, really, you humans need reminding to breathe?? You guys aren’t as smart as I thought!)  It seems that its easy for less intelligent beings than I to get lost in the daily shuffle, to forget to appreciate what’s right in front of their noses, and to wander out of eye sight in their crowded brains.  I guess what comes so easy to me just doesn’t translate well to you guys.  

I actually got admonished this morning for stopping to smell the roses for too long! Seriously?? Where are you??

Hineni – Here I am, living in the moment.  Come join me.